Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I found this a bit upsetting...

We were on the bus yesterday traversing the city to a print shop. Unfortunately the bus picked up a load of pubescent school girls. I dread riding with people who have no filter. I hate pre judging but years in this town have shown me that some bus routes at times can be a nightmare.
Sure enough they started looking and pointing at Olive's hairy legs. They acted like her fine legs were covered in dog crap. We both just smiled and kept cool.
As they left one of them yelled "Shave your legs!"
That made me sad.
Y'know who wins? Gillette, Madison Ave. and big money.
Y'know who loses? Us, Humanity and the girls who were hammered with the idea that body hair is bad.They went from looking really bright to looking like morons.
This tells me that somewhere those kids have adults in their lives that are sold on chemical dependencies based on manufactured ideals of vanity.
The creepiest thing I put in my body is coffee and meat (both preferably the kind that is sold from a cart), everything else I'm into is organically grown.
My life is good and I want to last. All the best stuff is natural...and one drug that makes my eyes roll into the back of my head with pleasure is the pheromone kicked out by the Apocrine glands.
Human attraction smell needs body hair to move around. I bet pit hair fans out like that just to get the smell out there. I don't find everyone's musk pleasing of course... Rootbeer thinks that if that happens then the person you are smelling may be related to you distantly.
Remember this smell is your friend and it has had millions of years to evolve into super juice for you. Olive and I can't smell each other enough! The chemical attraction is so strong between us it can be a distraction at times...like when we have to go somewhere but can't stop making out in the doorway!
It's so powerful that even though we have been together almost 3 years; we still love like we just met. That's why I got a vasectomy at the beginning of our relationship. If not we would have 6 kids by mornin!!!!
I'm not talking about stale, sweaty, stanky, putrid B.O. funk Ya'll I'm talking about the fine scent of a human that can only be enhanced with a light dusting of sunshine on skin smell.MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
Humans almost brought the Musk Deer to extinction by killing them for musk. The corporations have created plenty of chemical cocktails too. They try to mimic the scent and make mixtures that pound your liver, crackle your skin and bring aluminum to parts of your body that normally never have frikkin aluminum.
Ants communicate
with tons of chemical conversations but us humans only have a faint smell to talk with. I'm pissed off that the companies are making a huge profit off mutilating it.
My friend Lana is an emergency room nurse in San Antonio Texas. She tells me that she sees more naked people than a porn star. She also reports that most woman have little to no pubic hair. WTF?She wants to ask them "What do you wanna look like a 12 YO?"
I can understand not wanting to stink or attract everyone. We wash pretty good and trim the hair.
If you think of your body as a farm then you would be digging out all the plants to make room for cans of Spam to be dropped into the muddy hole.
Nothing is stronger, cheaper and without side effects like the natural juice that flows from your own body yo.
Then again...eating healthy may not add up to a hill of beans for me since I do eat a lot of lightbulbs at work.

OLIVE IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!


with circus tickets.
The Dark Side of Night -a batman circus parody-Performance on June 24 & 25th at the Watershed. Get your tickets from us for only $15.

While I was out...

I popped into a shop for some thumb tacs. Before I went in six teens asked me to get them a 12 pack of beer. "SURE!" They smiled at each other and gave me money. I walked straight to the milk and nabbed two gallon jugs. I asked with pantomime "This?" Outside they were freaking out "NO!!!" I pretended they agreed with me and bought milk with the money. I explained to them that for their money the beer is only 144 oz. total but the milk is 256 oz. and a far better deal. They were not pleased...teens suck at being thrifty. I had so much fun I forgot to get the tacks.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Extremo the Clown came to visit us at the balloon teaching class Olive was doing.

I have known this Portland legend since my baby girl was in diapers!

his You tube Chanel  http://www.youtube.com/user/extremotheclown

He tells us this panel was highly inspired by Olive Rootbeer!



his van waves constantly

here he is back in 93