Finding HAZEL

I know...I make fun of your bronze age religion all the time while devoutly practicing my own stone age religion HAHAHA but what cha gonna do right?
Here is an interesting true story that I still don't believe.
2007 was the worst year of my life.
My world exploded like a shotgun shooting cabbage.
In an attic room I quietly started re-building. I have always been very shamanic but I hadn't been being very spiritual because it was difficult in the loud and fires and screeching seagulls of the Clown House. I could now focus on what I needed to do to put the parts back together. I needed Health, Happiness and HAZEL.

This was my altar at Skye Tower.

I needed Olive Rootbeer but I didn't know her name. Her monicker in my spell book was HAZEL. Healthy,Attractive,Zesty,Enterprising,Loving.
My altar was for focus in getting my life together and manifesting a partner. I work better as a collaborator and I'm full of cozy love and romance. I'm a strong, healthy happy man and I'm hard wired to be a woman's guy...I just didn't want to waste it anymore. While casting spells for Hazel in that attic; the music I was blasting every day was Wolf mother. I won't tell you what exactly I do but the music was a integral part of it. Very soon my spells came to fruition and on top of that, they had a strange side effect...

Within the year I had not only found Hazel but i also found the guy singing on the soundtrack while i was dancing around doing spellcraft. The very guy who gave me the idea to look for someone called Hazel in his song. He, by a strange coincidence dropped into Dante's Downtown while i was doing a show and joined me on stage during MY act!!!!He and his entourage had just happened to walk into a nightclub as my friend Mr Mickens and I were playing a lil game of Whats Up Your Ass? with a rowdy Portland nightclub audience.

We had never met (in fact the only time i ever heard of him or his music was in the attic) but that night we got really close as I put a feather duster in his butt crack for fun and profit!

now Olive and I do that act together...and have been for 3 years.

There she is...the woman of my dreams. The bonus was that she not only was great with my kids...she made a commitment to them.

As long as i remember I have been a wizardy pagan. I don't buy into any of the McReligions, no devils or old grumpy men in the sky. I'm not against your religion ..whatever you need to get through the day. I'm just not friendly with people trying to convert me. No tools of the State, no missionaries, no guilt no crap...I'm just this hairless ape on the planet ringing bells and playing with sticks. Middle men are for suckers. The world has shown me that the only one I can count on is #1 so I gotta make my own luck. I see the alter and spells as tools that I use to enhance the powers I already have as a human made of flesh and electricity. I only have a 10th grade education but I became a scientist in 4th grade with the question "Who did Cane and Able mate with?".